I understand most things but you are something else.
I’m pretty perceptive when it comes to people but trying to read you is like reading a menu in Spanish. I mean i get the jist of things but i can’t piece it all together. You’ve had a lot going on recently,i get it but you just feel different. I’m biting my tongue so hard the taste of iron in my mouth is getting difficult to ignore.I thought i had you all figured out.Not to imply that you’re simple,quite the opposite. What i mean is,it was obvious you were happy with me.I first realised you were a cut above the rest of the boys i’ve been out with when you drove all that way for one night. It was the sweetest thing to open the door and have you place both hands on my face and have you kiss me like you meant it. We’ve only known each other three months but it feels like 4 times that long,i mean that in the best way possible. You’re friend told me that you thought i was ‘the one’.So what’s changed? You told my mum you never wanted to get married.That kinda sucked to hear.Not because i’m planning a wedding but because i want to get married one day.I want someone to love me that much that they want to show the whole world in a beautiful ceremony that bonds us forever.You said if things were still good next year when i’m back from teaching abroad,we could live together.Now i feel like you’re planning for us to fail.I feel as if i’m not quite good enough.Maybe i’m being ridiculous.Even so,i’m absolutely terrified of falling in love with you yet i’m completely powerless to stop myself doing so.You’re easy to love when you want to be.Being in different cities means we have to make more effort,but it also means you’re harder to read.I’m hoping so high that next time i see you,you’re my boy again.It’s too early for the milk to turn sour and to not hold hands anymore.I hope you feel better soon so that i can feel better too.I’m trying for the both of us.
I guess that’s what i want you to say.
Here’s hoping.
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you may be 10 miles away but you might as well be across the ocean. it feels like i am in a problem with no solution except for the times when i am in your arms and you are in mine with the words ’ i love you’ fall from your lips and my breath, how it seems to always run out on me just when you…
Source: nikkibot
This is all new to me so don’t be too harsh okay?
I decided to get a Tumblr. I made this decision based on two things; 1) I like to write a journal but because i use a computer more than a pen and paper nowadays,my hand aches after ten minutes which means i never get everything onto the paper that i want. 2) I tried Twitter but i don’t like it.I want to be a part of something.
Nat.24.Over analytical and curious. I think that is how i would describe myself.Now we all know each other,i’m going to do what i do best: put pen to paper or in this case, fingers to keys.
I just got back from Groezrock festival in Belgium. I had an amazing time. I went with two of my best friends and a group of people we knew from Leeds. My 2 friends and I spent most of it being silly,meeting awesome German people and singing at the top of our lungs.Some people we knew were being arrogant and awful so we separated ourselves from them most of the time. I love festivals. I love the atmosphere and the notion that most people there are on the same wave length and there for the same reasons; To listen to awesome music,meet new people and have fun. I want to go to festivals for a long time in the future.
Being in another country,as usual, filled me with wanderlust. I am now hankering to get on a plane and go somewhere new and exciting.When i’m in another country i feel like a different person.I feel free,curious and open to any possibility.In life i try to find those feelings in other things i do, whether it be by getting a tattoo,trying a new food or falling in and out of love continuously.
I feel pretty lonely at the moment.Not in a blue way or a way that is meant to make people feel sorry for me.Currently,all my best friends have a significant other. I have had my heart; broken,bent,squashed,shattered and torn many times. That doesn’t mean i fell in love every time,i just became attached.Like i tied a tiny piece of string between them and I. I’m an affectionate person and i’m lacking in said affection. I don’t care particularly for sex,i care more for the cuddles that come after. I miss someone cuddling me in a queue at the supermarket and kissing my head whilst we wait. I miss sleeping with my knee in his back.
I have only fallen in love truly,once. I was 16; Young,naive,careless and over emotional. I am still all those things now.The only difference being i have gained 8 years. I am still in love. I keep everything crossed that my first love will be my love at 65.Things are strange and confused at the moment but i am hopeful that one day,when we have grown,we will have found our way back to each other.
No Lies.Just Love.
